I told Theresa that she blogs about her feelings too much. First off.....BIG mistake....I know better than that but I slipped up. Secondly, she said "Maybe you should blog about YOUR feelings more Mr. Psychotherapy and stop worrying about my damn blog!"
Theresa: 1...John: 0
She's right, the blogs in this group really are about emotions, insecurities, and feelings. I am pretty good at articulating how I feel with Theresa but it's not something that I correlate to my day to day moods or actions. It does affect these however, but I really don't acknowledge the root causes of having a
crabby ass day or bad attitude. I am generally very happy and cheerful....but sometimes I can be a bear. Most of these issues arise from a lack of control over certain situations.
Now before you stamp me with the "control freak" label....here me out. I have a great desire most of the time for harmony and happiness for everyone. Especially in my immediate family. I generally feel that I have a great and happy life and I want everyone around me to have those same happy feelings. Does that sound stupid?
That all sounds good and well....but the problem is that I am convinced I have manufactured this happiness through hard work, choices, good decisions (learning and not repeating bad ones), and the like. I am a fixer and a doer. One of the best things about Theresa is she loves this about me. I don't chalk things up to fate, divine intervention, or just good ole' meant -to- be. I sometimes SAY I do, but I really don't believe it. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that everything may not be that simple....but I'm not there yet.
I am facing some adversity right now with my baby mama and my daughter. I am divorced for a reason, and I cannot express to you the frustration that I deal with daily regarding some of the choices my ex makes in her life. My daughter is doing well.....she's aware that her momma isn't perfect....we talk about the issues frequently, but I don't want her to ever view these bad decisions and just think that it's normal or right. It's nothing terribly bad or criminal....it's just not want I want for my beautiful daughter. I try to insulate her from it. She is here at our house a lot but she doesn't have a dedicated space. I have tried five thousand different ways to help or fix this problem and to assist my ex with certain issues including financially....but to no avail. Stubborn as a mule. It is a part of my life that is out of control....and I don't like it one bit. All of the boys live with Theresa and I in this super great happy home. My daughter lives nearby with her Mom....in Baddecisionville.
Theresa hit 59 today....time to start pricing some vacation homes in Ethiopia. Congrats T!
Have a great weekend!
I am sorry about the ex wife issues. John and I are very familiar with that type of drama. It sucks. Hope things get better for you and your little princess.
ReplyDeleteI have found that kids are smart...they can peg crazy, not good choices and stable, smart choices. All you can do is keep on being stable and there for her and she will see the truth. It probably would be nice to find her a little space of her own at your house though..dare I say man cave?? :)
ReplyDeleteBy the way somehow I missed the last post...VERY funny. that alien band thing I peg on hormones. We girls retain and dump water in nano-seconds and I have attributed the band variability (I have it) to that. This is probably a good thing though because it keeps me always a little bit afraid to do naughty things :)
xxxooo
It's never good to be out of control! And for it to effect your precious daughter - So much worse!! I completely agree with Tina, kids know what's really going on. As she continues to grow she'll value your and T's stability and decision making skills more and more!!! Good luck!
ReplyDelete"I am convinced I have manufactured this happiness through hard work, choices, good decisions (learning and not repeating bad ones), and the like. I am a fixer and a doer." - I feel like this too. No one has given me anything. Everything I have and am is due to my hard work.
ReplyDeleteExcept it doesn't always work like that, does it? Health problems and accidents happen to the hard-working and lazy alike. A friend of mine lost his 15-year-old son to leukemia two years ago. No amount of planning and hard work could save him. Sometimes shit happens. We can't control everything.
That's a hard situation with your daughter. What parent wouldn't want to protect their child from a bad situation? I don't know the answer. Often there is no good answer except that you keep doing what you're doing. Be a good dad. Give her a stable place to come. Help your ex if you can. Remember that some of our greatest strengths as humans can come out of the adversity we experience.
I think that by being the best Dad you can is all you can really do. I don;t know how old you daughter is, but hopefully she can see that the descions your ex is making aren't the best ones and she can learn from them, not be destined to repeat the sins of the mother. Just never forget to tell your daughter you love her, support her and you are always there for her. Even if she has a whacked out mama! :)
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