Theresa loves to use her ass as the butt of jokes. Hips run in her family..... when she gets to her goal weight she will still have hips. That is the way God intended her. I like.
She always makes jokes about it, and she seems perfectly comfortable with her body design.
Until she's not.
We were going out to dance and eat crawfish Saturday night and she was struggling with her outfit which led to a "do I look fat in this meltdown".
This is how it went down:
Her: "Do you like the red top or the black one?"
Me: " I like the red one, it looks great."
Her: " No it doesn't....it makes my ass look big and shows my back fat!"
Me (calmly): "I disagree....I think you look great."
Her (frustration in her voice): 'These jeans are too tight aren't they? You would tell me wouldn't you?!"
Me (super calm voice): "I would tell you yes, but they are not too tight."
Her (verge of tears): "No you wouldn't! You say everything looks good! I need a better mirror dammit...why don't we have a full length mirror?! I need a full length lighted mirror so that I can see what I look like from behind! I hate my haircut!"
Me (still calm): "You can buy whatever mirror you like tomorrow....but our ride will be here in about 20 minutes....I'll wait for you outside on the deck. Love ya."
Her: "Fine John....fine."
She wore the black top and the jeans. We had a great time. She was happy to be out amongst her Cajun people and to eat some crawfish. Her butt looked good. Just a moment in time.
For all you significant others out there, take note of my deft handling of a potential nuclear situation....not my first rodeo friends..... not my first rodeo.
I had a very productive weekend. I worked my ass off in the yard and got it completed. That task is off my plate. My plants and flowers are in the middle of their springtime burst so I'll put some pics up tomorrow. I also hit a dead possum with my mower that was stuck in some bushes by one of my trees. Neighbors dog must have got him and I didn't see him until it was too late. Scared the shit outta me. Nasty. I'll put some pics up of that too.
For all you ladies who went to NYC....jealous. Can we see some more pics?
Have a great Tuesday! Y'all look great in whatever you are wearing today....take my word for it.
Partners everywhere can learn from you!!
ReplyDeleteNice handling of the sitcheeashun. It's a tough one.
ReplyDeletePlease don't post the possum pictures or I will be scarred for life.
Laughing so loud at that conversation my co-workers had to check on me. I love your calm replies to our girl. You rock.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see the pictures of the dead possum. LOL
i think you must have been at my house this weekend lol
ReplyDeleteThe force is strong in this one. I actually don't put my husband through that. We all know you guys lie anyway. LOL
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see the yard and opossum pix.
ReplyDeleteTheresa... always looks great. It's no wonder she thinks you're lying to her since no woman thinks she looks great all the time.
ReplyDeleteOh I bet the pics are gonna be awesome! I can't wait!!!
ReplyDeleteThat conversation sounds alot like me and my husband except it's backwards. It's me telling him he looks just fine as he tries on the 20th outfit in his closet! haha Can you imagine the hubby and the wife having confidence issues??? haha
As soon as I get a boyfriend, he will immediately get a link you you, good man.
ReplyDeleteI reckon you must have watched that episode of Friends when Joey teaches Chandler (have I got this right?) that when a woman asks you "How do I look?" You don't look at her, think and reply - you just respond instantly and instinctively "You look fabulous" - no other reply is correct.
ReplyDeleteYou're certainly getting it right John - got any brothers??
Caroline