What's been up?

Howdy bloggers....I haven't done any blogging in weeks, haven't read any either. I've been busy, bored with it, and generally just not feelin' it. Please don't judge me....I'm a dude so I'm not real smart, and I can be non-committal on stuff like that and all. But I'm feeling bloggy this morning so what the heck.....

As everyone well knows by now.....we went to NOLA for a little weekend trip to see Read from My Trek Downward and it was just awesome. Theresa and Read hit it off like long lost sorority sisters and the party was on. Read is just great...very cute, witty and lots of fun.... I knew this about her already though, I'm not sure how but I just kinda knew it. Unfortunately, I began imbibing about noon on that day, was at the Cat's Meow drinking Hurricanes at 2, Read shows up at like 3 and the evil bartender at said establishment over served me from that point forward. I vaguely remember certain details about the evening the last of which is waking up in the hotel room with Theresa and Read taking funny pictures of me passed out. I forgave them because they did the man work of finding our luggage downstairs while I recovered. I did not pace myself....end of story.

Read did some singin' and dancin'....here are a few videos for your enjoyment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRUlHehW8n8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiOCWxJIwB0

She says this will be her first and last time......doubtful by the look of things huh?

I am proud to report that I have joined Crossfit and am going through the "fundamentals" phase of getting back in shape. Squats are evil and I can barely walk right now but I'm motivated and I enjoy it so far. It has a military type feel to it and I'm very familiar with that......gotta stick it out.

I know my blogging hiatus is just wrong but I still love you guys! I love ya! Especially Theresa! Love ya Theresa! Don't be mad at me. As you all well know....I'm just a guy.

Global Warming

This is what SW Louisiana will look like soon if we don't get some rain. It is dryer than Ben Bernanke at a TARP legislation meeting. My water bill will soon be six figures trying to keep my plants happy. It generally rains in this part of the country almost daily in the afternoon....similar to Florida. All that heat builds up into thermal thunderstorms and presto....30 minute rainshower. Since Hurricane Rita in 2006...the weather patterns have shifted and we are high and dry....it's windy everyday, bright sun, and hot. The weather experts say that after a period of major hurricane activity many times it is followed by a dry trend due to the shift in the jet stream. Some people say it's Global Warming.....no it's not. Here is what I think of that, especially the Adam and Eve part:


http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CBwQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DI_kODETmro8&rct=j&q=will%20ferrell%20global%20warming&ei=jHKtTd3-GejZ0QGKrZnDCw&usg=AFQjCNFvoEyRHmDLPgbbsEWs5dRA0VuZgQ&sig2=EpkqRn-4Q3_W0ah9ll8cfQ&cad=rja




I hope everyone had a great weekend. I have my final safety inspection of the fiscal year at my facility today......it's been hectic getting ready but I feel good about it. My weight loss and workout efforts are not going well.....but that is another blog entirely. Theresa and I will be going to NOLA shortly for JazzFest where we will meet the great blogger Read. It should be a great time!

Feelings

I told Theresa that she blogs about her feelings too much. First off.....BIG mistake....I know better than that but I slipped up. Secondly, she said "Maybe you should blog about YOUR feelings more Mr. Psychotherapy and stop worrying about my damn blog!"

Theresa: 1...John: 0

She's right, the blogs in this group really are about emotions, insecurities, and feelings. I am pretty good at articulating how I feel with Theresa but it's not something that I correlate to my day to day moods or actions. It does affect these however, but I really don't acknowledge the root causes of having a
crabby ass day or bad attitude. I am generally very happy and cheerful....but sometimes I can be a bear. Most of these issues arise from a lack of control over certain situations.

Now before you stamp me with the "control freak" label....here me out. I have a great desire most of the time for harmony and happiness for everyone. Especially in my immediate family. I generally feel that I have a great and happy life and I want everyone around me to have those same happy feelings. Does that sound stupid? 
That all sounds good and well....but the problem is that I am convinced I have manufactured this happiness through hard work, choices, good decisions  (learning and not repeating bad ones), and the like. I am a fixer and a doer. One of the best things about Theresa is she loves this about me.  I don't chalk things up to fate, divine intervention, or just good ole' meant -to- be. I sometimes SAY I do, but I really don't believe it. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that everything may not be that simple....but I'm not there yet.

 I am facing some adversity right now with my baby mama and my daughter. I am divorced for a reason, and I cannot express to you the frustration that I deal with daily regarding some of the choices my ex makes in her life. My daughter is doing well.....she's aware that her momma isn't perfect....we talk about the issues frequently,  but I don't want her to ever view these bad decisions and just think that it's normal or right. It's nothing terribly bad or criminal....it's just not want I want for my beautiful daughter.  I try to insulate her from it. She is here at our house a lot but she doesn't have a dedicated space.  I have tried five thousand different ways to help or fix this problem and to assist my ex with certain issues including financially....but to no avail. Stubborn as a mule. It is a part of my life that is out of control....and I don't like it one bit. All of the boys live with Theresa and I in this super great happy home. My daughter lives nearby with her Mom....in Baddecisionville.

Theresa hit 59 today....time to start pricing some vacation homes in Ethiopia. Congrats T!

Have a great weekend!

Sundresses, stuck episodes and aliens.

Theresa just looks great. She wore a couple of sun dresses this weekend which are my absolute favorite female clothing option. She was smokin' hot.....I'm sure Hugh Heffner or Dancing with the Stars will be calling shortly. I would be okay with her in Playboy....I really would.....it's all about the great articles anyway.

Her band restriction is so weird....shouldn't it be consistent? She couldn't eat a thing on Sunday! It's like it has a personality....like the movie Alien when that baby alien burrows it's way out of that guys stomach! I'm just waiting for that to happen any day now.

That would be soooo cool.....except for the being dead and all. My theory would be proven and I could describe to my buddies at the hunting camp how it came out and attacked me....the vicious struggle as it tried to attach itself to my face. Of course I would eventually kill it with one of my many hunting weapons. I would seriously miss Theresa though. She would be impossible to replace so I would probably take her to the taxidermist and get her mounted in a standing "spirit hands" pose...or with a microphone singing. If I ever decided to date again someday....talk about puttin' the pressure on the new girl! Wow...former wife stuffed in the corner.

Aliens are bad.

Have a great week.....yes I know I'm morbid.

I'm back.

Not that any of you even noticed but I have not blogged in over a week. Theresa is pissed at me and has issued several stern warnings about my duties as a blogger and such. I got it...I got it.

I was really busy last week because I took off on Friday to fish a bass tournament with Theresa's brothers. We go every year for this tournament, this is my 4th time. They have been going for maybe 15 years or so. It's the Louisiana Oilmen's tournament at Toledo Bend reservoir and it is quite an elaborate production. All of the proceeds go to St. Jude Children's hospitals. There were 694 boats entered...at $350 a boat. Do the math....we cut quite a large check to those folks. They give away some awesome prizes (2 boats) and a lot of free stuff just for being there. We caught a lot of fish but were no threat to the tournament winners. We also drank a shitload of expensive single malt scotch while we were there.....which is what the trip is really all about! Oh yeah....and sick children...sorry. The brother's and I male bonded early on when I met Theresa and so now we are buddies. We do a lot together and they have really integrated me into their close knit family. I like and appreciate them...they're great dudes. This makes T extremely happy because they only would have invited her ex husband fishing to put cement shoes on him and leave him at the bottom of the lake. I am cautiously aware of this.....don't get on their bad side right? It's all about takin' good care of their sis.

I was however SO jealous of T's karaoke hen party! I love a good party at our house and I missed one obviously. Theresa is such a one-upper! I will get my revenge.

On the band front, Theresa looks great but she is losing her boobs. Boobs are smaller. Definitely smaller. As I conveyed in my earlier posts this is really not an issue because I'm a butt man. As the weight continues to fall I will be keeping a close eye on that body part....I have a "no smaller than clause" I will enforce if it shrinks too much. I ain't playin'.

Have a great Tuesday!

Pictures are worth a thousand words.

Some pictures of my flowers.....as promised. Have a great Wednesday! I opted not to post the possum (opossum for Amanda) pics....too gruesome.

 Pink knockout rose

                                           Amaryllis

 Indian hawthorne and amaryllis

                                              Clematis

 White knockout

                                                 House front

 Hannah Rae bottle brush (only 3 years old- 12" tall when planted.)

                          Grapes on pergola (notice dead soldier on table).

 Grapes on pergola

  Grape clusters (stop sign hidden in picture for all you Waldo people.)

This is me with a rare cajun Tessie Rose flower.
It kisses you when you feed it with wine and crawfish.
Very fickle flower though.....

Does this make my butt look big?

Theresa loves to use her ass as the butt of jokes. Hips run in her family..... when she gets to her goal weight she will still have hips. That is the way God intended her. I like.
She always makes jokes about it, and she seems perfectly comfortable with her body design.

Until she's not.

We were going out to dance and eat crawfish Saturday night and she was struggling with her outfit which led to a "do I look fat in this meltdown".
This is how it went down:

Her: "Do you like the red top or the black one?"
Me: " I like the red one, it looks great."
Her: " No it doesn't....it makes my ass look big and shows my back fat!"
Me (calmly): "I disagree....I think you look great."
Her (frustration in her voice):  'These jeans are too tight aren't they? You would tell me wouldn't you?!"
Me (super calm voice): "I would tell you yes, but they are not too tight."
Her (verge of tears): "No you wouldn't! You say everything looks good! I need a better mirror dammit...why don't we have a full length mirror?! I need a full length lighted mirror so that I can see what I look like from behind! I hate my haircut!"
Me (still calm): "You can buy whatever mirror you like tomorrow....but our ride will be here in about 20 minutes....I'll wait for you outside on the deck. Love ya."
Her: "Fine John....fine."

She wore the black top and the jeans. We had a great time. She was happy to be out amongst her Cajun people and to eat some crawfish. Her butt looked good. Just a moment in time.
For all you significant others out there, take note of my deft handling of a potential nuclear situation....not my first rodeo friends..... not my first rodeo.

I had a very productive weekend. I worked my ass off in the yard and got it completed. That task is off my plate. My plants and flowers are in the middle of their springtime burst so I'll put some pics up tomorrow. I also hit a dead possum with my mower that was stuck in some bushes by one of my trees. Neighbors dog must have got him and I didn't see him until it was too late. Scared the shit outta me. Nasty. I'll put some pics up of that too.

For all you ladies who went to NYC....jealous. Can we see some more pics?

Have a great Tuesday! Y'all look great in whatever you are wearing today....take my word for it.